


Set You Free (To Find The Prince You Thought You Found In Me)

by MagicMalcolm



Series: Dating For Demons [11]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Identity Issues, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Sami&Finn, Set Post NXT Lowell, WWE NXT, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:43:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMalcolm/pseuds/MagicMalcolm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But now…now I'm possessed, I am possessed like a demon stalking his prey… possessed going after what belongs TO ME!”</p><p>There has always been several sides to Finn Bálor, and Sami Zayn is fairly certain he knows them all better than anyone.  But after Finn loses the NXT Championship to Samoa Joe at Lowell, Sami can only watch on helplessly as he sees a side of Finn emerge that he had hoped had been left behind in Japan.</p><p>A side of Finn Bálor that might not have a place for Sami Zayn's need to help his partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Set You Free (To Find The Prince You Thought You Found In Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this fic and it's title are taken from "A Monster Like Me" by Mørland & Debrah Scarlett.
> 
> This particular story was also inspired by real-life events. The struggle of watching someone lose their very selves to something beyond their control is something I had to deal with for several years, and although none of the characters in this fic suffer from mental-health issues, the parallels are there. I understand fully if this is a subject matter you would rather not read about.

_“Now anybody that knows who I am, knows that I am obsessed with NXT, and I am obsessed with being the NXT Champion._

_But now…now I'm **possessed** , I am possessed like a demon stalking his prey… _**possessed**_ going after what belongs TO ME!”_

Sami felt a small shiver as he watched Finn’s post-match promo on Finn’s first NXT show after losing the NXT Title to Samoa Joe at the Lowell event.  He’d been worried about how Finn would react, and had tuned into the Network on his tablet to watch as soon as he was able.  Finn had been distant since Lowell, and Sami could understand that all too well.  He had been despondent when Kevin stole the NXT Title from him, and had wanted to be left alone for a few days to recover and get his head together to plan for the rematch.  Finn had reassured Sami that he was doing fine, but it was said in such a monotone manner that Sami couldn’t help but feel disbelief.  It didn’t help that Sami was stuck in Paris as part of WWE’s European Tour at the time, and he couldn’t just jump on a plane to be with Finn in his time of need.  Bayley had tried to keep Sami updated on Finn’s state since Lowell, but even the High-Priestess of Huglife had difficulty getting Finn to open up.

Oh, Sami was well aware of how much NXT meant to Finn…how proud he was to represent NXT as it’s champion…how proud _he_ was of Finn’s efforts to lead NXT onwards to bigger and better things.  The pain etched on Finn’s face was telling enough…but the vitriol that followed was shocking.  The absolute look of _hatred_ on Finn’s face when Elias Samson interrupted…that look absolutely _terrified_ Sami.  Not in the way the look was meant to convey, but for the first time since Finn came to NXT…Sami was afraid for Finn’s mental well-being.  This was the first time in a long time…maybe even the _only time_ since Finn came to Florida that Sami wasn’t there to help Finn defuse.

Sami shuddered as a traitorous thought entered his mind; _would Finn even want to be calmed down?_

It was no secret than the “Finn Bálor” Sami had come to know and love and Japan’s wrestling star “Prince Devitt” were the same person.  Intellectually, Sami knew that.  _Emotionally_ , however, Sami couldn’t really bring himself to believe that Finn had **ever** been that person in Japan…all snarls and hatred, the feared leader of the infamous Bullet Club once upon a time, doing and taking whatever they wanted…Sami remembered asking Adrian about Finn’s time in Japan before Finn officially signed with the company and even Neville, someone who’d worked with Finn all over the world and knew him well before they had both came to the WWE, someone who had been friends with Fergal Devitt for over 10 years, had difficulty believing they were the same man.  The man Sami had lived with for nearly two years and secretly crushed on for at least half of that…the man Sami had to constantly pick up fallen Lego pieces behind…the man who loved action figures and stuffed toys and owned roughly a bajillion novelty t-shirts but only one dress shirt ( _no_ , **_wait_** , _two now_ , Sami corrected himself…he’d recently got a new one with polka dots… _to match all his socks, of **course**_ )…the man who had literally squealed in delight when Bayley mimicked his entrance…how could he be the same man as the person onscreen seething in anger, just waiting for the right moment to **end** the singing interloper who dared step into the ring with him.

Watching the pure look of disgust in Finn’s face moments before he Pele kicked Samson in the head…the fury in Finn’s voice after his match with Samson had ended…the lack of restraint as he threw himself over the top rope at Samoa Joe, almost knocking William Regal down in the process…well, Sami suddenly found himself realising that they were most _definitely_ the same person.  And the Prince Devitt who terrorised Japan with his Bullet Club squadron…it looked like he was making an unexpected comeback in NXT.

_What if this is the **real** Fergal Devitt?_

Sami almost threw his tablet across the hotel room as that thought crossed his mind.  Part of him was glad he was rooming alone in this town, if only so he didn’t have to explain why he was this close to becoming a sobbing wreck.  On the other hand, being alone was probably the sole reason he was even that close to breaking down to begin with.  Sami flipped through his mental Filofax of friends, trying to think if anyone could help to calm his nerves.  Bayley was scheduled to face Nia Jax, so distracting her with a phone call would’ve been a really awful thing to do.  Dean was probably practicing his nunchuck skills for his big cage match with Jericho at Extreme Rules, and Sami wasn’t desperate enough to become a moving target for him as a distraction from himself.  Cesaro was always an option…if they weren’t scheduled for a one-on-one contest on RAW, Sami would’ve been knocking on the Swiss’ hotel room for coffee and a chat without hesitation.  Cass was still preoccupied with Enzo’s injury, and by proxy Carmella was worried about her man’s well-being.  Adrian would probably be grateful for the distraction from his injury rehab, but Sami had talked the ears off of Neville regarding Finn on so many occasions…he felt a little guilty about calling Neville up solely to talk about Finn _again_.

It honestly didn’t occur to Sami that he could try calling _Finn himself_ to see how he was doing until he had exhausted all of the previous options.  Sami stared at his phone, finger hovering over the speed-dial button…the need to know if Finn was okay, if Finn needed to vent some more…it was overwhelming.

_What if Finn is angry at me for holding him back all this time?_

The phone slipped out of Sami’s hand, falling onto the bed with a bounce.  Sami let himself fall backwards, immediately grabbing the stiff hotel pillow and curling himself around it.  The tears soon followed, as Sami reached the painful conclusion that things had maybe just irreparably changed.

_“…sami…are you there?  sami?  please answer me…i need to talk to you too…i can hear you crying, **please** talk to me…”_

Sami lifted his head from the pillow, looking around the room in surprise.  Was somebody calling for him?  Was he so far gone in his grief that he was hearing Finn’s voice as a defence mechanism?

Sami suddenly felt a small vibration on the bed.  _Oh, the discarded phone._   Had he accidentally hit the call button before he dropped the phone?  Sami tentatively picked it up, seeing that Finn was calling him back.  With a deep breath, Sami answered.

“ ** _Sami_** _!_   Are you okay?  You called me, but didn’t say anything…you were crying, and…Sami, **_fuck_** , _please_ say you’re okay?”

Sami sobbed in painful relief.  Finn’s voice was soft, pleading and filled with worry, a far cry from the bitter, angry tone from his promo earlier.  This was _his_ Finn, of that there was no doubt.

“Finn…sorry, I made you worry...” Sami gulped back the final sniffles, finally regaining his composure, “…I might not be fine, though.”

“What happened, Sami?” There was a slight edge to Finn’s voice, “Is somebody bothering you?  Is it Kevin?  Maryse?  Maryse’s wife?”

“No…” Sami sighed, despite Finn’s crack at the Miz his tone had become slightly hostile again, but at least it wasn’t directed at Sami himself… _yet_ … “No, I…I caught your NXT return.”

There was a silent pause, and Sami could almost see Finn thinking about what had happened, “Yeah…that didn’t quite go as planned…”

“I can only assume you didn’t set out to nearly kill Elias in front of a national audience,” Sami sniffled, “…you were so _angry_ Finn.  So…so angry…”

“Yeah, I lost it far too easily…God, my emotions during that taping…my head was all over the place, and I was doubting myself a little…missing you a lot…felt like I’d disappointed everyone in the arena, and then **he** comes out and tries to make himself famous by getting under my skin?  He’s lucky I didn’t kick his head into the back row…” There was another pause, before Finn replied in a painfully small voice, “…and that’s what was bothering you?  What I said?  What I _did?_ I…I made you cry like that?”

“You…it wasn’t the ‘you’ I know…” Sami felt himself begin to cry again, failing completely to subdue his sobbing, “I was _scared_ , Finn.  It felt like I was losing you… _had_ lost you…right in front of my eyes, and there’s nothing I could do about it…you’re feeling all this pain and hate inside and I **_can’t_** _be there to help you_ and I’m terrified because I don’t know if you even _want_ to be helped.  Don’t know if you even want me there _to_ help you…”

“God, Sami, I wish you were here, _always_ wish you were here… **never** doubt that for a second…but it’s only going to get worse from here,” Finn’s voice had begun to tremble, “They want to put Joe and I in a Steel Cage match at TakeOver.”

“Finn, _what_ , **no**!” Sami could feel the panic rising to dangerous levels, “You can’t let them go through with that!”

“I’m sorry, Sami…I knew when I agreed to it that you’d be upset, and I hate that I’m going to put you through that again…but this thing with Joe and I has to end, Sami,” Finn suddenly sounded far too weary for his thirty-four years, “I’m tired of it.  Tired of having to delve into the darkest side of me every time I face him…tired of worrying that he’s going to ambush me at any given moment, tired of planning retribution…I just want to move on and _enjoy_ wrestling again.  I beat Kevin in a Ladder Match…I _will_ beat Joe in a Cage.”

“I get that…Finn, I really do…” Sami shivered, the tone in Finn’s voice shaking him to his core…his words sounding hauntingly familiar, resonating deep within him on an painfully intimate level, “That’s your title after all…I couldn’t live with myself if you turned down that shot because of me…  You’ll…you’ll let me know if you need me for anything, right?”

“Sami…your support means everything to me, some days it’s the only thing that keeps me going,” Finn’s voice had gone quiet, “Just knowing you’re okay with the match happening is enough for me.”

“That…didn’t answer my question, Finn,” Sami gulped, the nerves beginning to reassert themselves.

“…you saw what happened with Samson, right?  How much _that_ upset you?” Finn replied grimly, “I’m going to have to be even _worse_ than that against Joe…more sadistic, angrier, literally like a beast in a cage…and now I don’t know if I can do that without hurting you more than I already have.  You **shouldn’t** have to deal with that side of me…you deserve nothing but the best…not me at my worst.”

“…you’re shutting me out,” Sami sobbed as the realisation sank in, “…Finn…please, you don’t have to do this…I’ll be fine!  Attack whoever you want, whatever, it’s fine…it’s… _Finn_ …no…you can’t say you’ll be okay with this.”

“One month…one month and it’ll all be over.  Either way, things will go back to normal…one month, Sami…it’ll fly by, you’ll see,” Finn managed to say, albeit unconvincingly, “I know it’s a lot to ask.  You…you have Extreme Rules to focus on.  Don’t worry about anything but winning the Intercontinental title, okay?  We’ll… _you’ll_ be fine.  Don’t waste your time with me right now.”

“Finn…you know _damn_ well I won’t be able to focus on anything whilst you’re like this…don’t you **dare** tell me trying to help you is ever a waste of my time,” Sami knew how desperate he sounded, but couldn’t bring himself to care, “Don’t do this…I…I _can’t_ do this…don’t say you won’t let me help you.  I **need** you, Finn.  You promised after WrestleMania…said we’d _always_ be there for each other…I don’t care what you have to do or what you have to become in that cage…but _please_ , Finn, don’t shut me out of your life like this…if I have to see you at your worst, then so be it!  That’s part of being in a relationship, Finn!  I can cope with anything else, but not you turning your back on me when you need help… _please_ don’t let this come between us.”

“I thought…it would be the best way to protect you from the worst side of me…I don’t know how far I can let myself go knowing you’d be watching…” Finn sighed sadly, “…I know, I’m being selfish.  You deserve better than this…”

“…the way you’re acting, you might be right,” Sami snuffled, “…but I’m not letting you go through this alone, Finn Bálor.  You hear me?  Even if you won’t confide in me, promise you’ll talk to someone?  Like Matt, he’d be perfect.  Or even Anderson or Gallows…somebody who’s already seen the worst you have to offer?  You do that…and I promise not to watch any NXT until after TakeOver.  At least, not anything with you involved…if I can’t see what’s happening, that’s good enough, right?”

“…okay, I…Sami, you…yes, yes that’s okay,” Finn agreed, his voice quivering slightly, “I promise I will talk to somebody if I need to…and I’ll try to keep you updated on how I’m doing, even if it’s bad news.”

“Good…that’s good…” Sami took a deep breath, “I can live with that…can...can I still call _you_ , though?  Will that be okay…y’know, if it’s urgent?”

There was a pause as Finn seemed to think about it, a few hushed sobs eventually made way for his reply, “…Sami, I **never** want you to be afraid to call me again if you need me.  I might not have much to say, but I’ll manage a ‘hello’ at the very least.”

“Okay…right, that’s…that’s better, yes,” Sami flopped down on to the bed, mentally exhausted, “Sorry for coming undone on you like that.  I’m an idiot.”

“Sorry for being the reason you came undone like that,” Finn whispered sadly, “I’m a stupid arse.”

“We’re both idiotic stupid arses, yes,” Sami agreed, looking down at the discarded tablet, “…so, uh, you didn’t _actually_ murder Elias, right?”

“I’m not calling you from a jail cell, no,” Finn managed a small laugh, the sniffled sobs subsiding gradually as a result.

“And you apologised to Mr. Regal for nearly knocking him over with that plancha?”

“…I nearly did _what_ now to Regal?” Finn sounded genuinely shocked at Sami’s question.

“You know, when you flung yourself at Joe after declaring yourself ‘the line?’  He only just managed to get out of your way, Finn.”

Finn groaned in dismay, “…shite, I’ll apologise first thing t’morrow.”

“Good, that’s good…thank you, Finn,” Sami tried to bite back a yawn, but a slight hiss managed to slip out, “You’re okay now, right?”

“I’ll probably be angry at myself for a while yet,” Finn admitted, “But yeah…Sami.  I think I’ll be okay now.  Will _you_ be okay?”

“…I’m tired out, Finn…but…I think everything’s fine now…you’re still you, and that’s all that matters to me…” Sami could feel his eyelids beginning to droop, “Finn…?  Love you… _always_ …”

“Love you, too…” Finn continued on even as he heard Sami’s breathing deepen, a soft snore confirming that Sami had drifted off to sleep.  He couldn’t help but keep babbling as many sentiments as he could…hoping he could somehow imprint how sorry he was, how much he wished he hadn’t put Sami through such turmoil again, praying that his words could somehow imprint themselves into Sami’s psyche to let the younger man know how he really felt…would _always_ feel about him no matter what had to happen in the ring come TakeOver, “Sleep well, _m'aingeal_ …so sorry…love you _so much_ …never want you to feel less than loved…I’ll do my best to never put you through this again after TakeOver…I _promise_ Sami…love you…miss you…always **need** you too.”


End file.
